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Pretty Little Liars & Ezra’s Terrible Shirt [S06E08]

We open on Alison telling the Girls about how that creepy home movie (which we saw at the end of the last episode) was from a birthday celebration in which Charles gave her the frosting off his birthday cake.

“How does that turn vicious?” Alison laments. Hanna is the best because this is how she replies: “You played skee ball once! I wouldn’t call that family bonding.” Dropping truth bombs!

Next we see Hanna and her mom trying to talk to Mr. DiLaurentis (Alison’s dad) about the mystery $30k scholarship. Hanna wants to get rid of it, because “‘A’ gives so ‘A’ can take away,” but her mom doesn’t want to give it back since they do need the money.

Ezra is pretending to dust or something while he eavesdrops on Aria’s conversation with photography-pal, Clark. She’s not going to the show they’re both finalists in because it’s TOO DANGEROUS, so he brought her a postcard advertising the show. (Aww.) He leaves, so Ezra swoops in and points out that Clark sure does ask a lot of Questions About ‘A’ and ISN’T THAT WEIRD?!

you-in-danger-girl

Remember how Alison is a high school senior and is dating an adult man who is a police officer? (Like, how young am I supposed to think this dude is? COME ON.) She’s over at his place doing his laundry and washing the dishes. She also made him homemade soup, and listen: She was “dead” for a while, is only 17, and has never displayed any interest in cooking. Where did she get this soup recipe? DID I MISS THE TIME JUMP? Is she actually a 25-year-old housewife now? Because girrrrrrl, bye. He can wash his own clothes.

Anyway! Later she steals his police access keycard and goes to snoop around in the PD in the room with all of the Charles/’A’ case info. The Detective catches her and tells her they’ll use “lethal force if need be” when they find Charles and Alison seems too upset about that considering who he is and what he’s done. (Kidnapped and locked up her friends. Years of harassment. Killed her mom?)  Boyfriend-cop is pisssssssed and in trouble, since she got caught, so maybe she won’t be washing his clothes anymore. 😉

And YES! More Hanna & Spencer teaming up! (I must not be the only one who loves them together, because it’s happening so often now!) They’re trying to figure out how to get into the office that sent the scholarship check to INVESTIGATE. They got into some dude’s office and they’re sneaking around when he walks in and WTF he looks A LOT like Jason DiLaurentis… so maybe he’s Charles? It’s clear they both think that right away, but what’s not clear is why they don’t run screaming from the room. Faux-Jason/Charles/”Rhys” won’t tell them who his “boss” is but says that’s who sends out the scholarship checks.

Meanwhile, the detective is critiquing Aria’s photos in the most awkward THIS MAKES NO SENSE SHE’S POLICE NOT AN ARTIST moment ever. Like, why are you telling her about your ~artistic~ process, Aria? Basically they both want Aria to go to the art show, while Aria’s mom is a no vote (but of course, gets convinced otherwise).

When Aria’s getting ready for the art show, she talks prom with Emily. (I guess they’re finally graduating soon so that’s coming up.) She says she put her “own spin” on the dress she has hidden in her closet for prom and won’t let Emily see it. I imagine she’ll wear the formal version of this gem of an outfit: PRETTY LITTLE LIARS

Maybe it won’t matter since the moms all got an email saying the school board might not let the girls attend prom. (How rude!)

Later the art gallery is “crawling with police” for Aria’s showing. Hanna’s wearing a tough girl leather jacket and Spencer is in a dress made from an old lady’s curtains (😍).

Aria chats with Clark at the gallery. He says he’s so nervous. She seems confused and says she figured he’d be super chill since he’s done this before. He gets shifty and is like, “Oh RIIIIIIIGHT. I have.” (What a liar!)

The art show doesn’t go as planned, of course. Instead of the creepy doll photos Aria expected to see displayed on the wall, her space has photos of the four girls when they were in the locked in the  bunker, drugged and naked on those autopsy/morgue metal tables. ‘A’ is a real jerk. And Aria’s mom is real mad. Detective is super nonchalant about it and basically DGAF.

Ezra's ridiculous shirt
Ezra’s ridiculous shirt

Forget all that though because Ezra showed up to the gallery wearing this shirt:

Quick PSA: Kids! Feeling lonely? You are so lucky because you can literally have a random thought and instantly go find people who are thinking the same thing all over the internet right away. I COULD NOT deal with Ezra’s palm tree/spider shirt, so I searched “Ezra’s shirt” on Twitter & oh hey! SO MANY TWEETS ABOUT HOW RIDICULOUS THAT SHIRT IS! pll-tweets-ezrasshirt

(The shirt is currently for sale at J.Crew which is a whole other issue.)

Also, the actor is on Twitter so people couldn’t resist asking him about the shirt.

Example:

[tweet https://twitter.com/lucyhaleyeah/status/626192702426730496]

😂

While Ezra is wearing that ridiculous shirt, Aria somehow still manages to take him seriously and confides in him that when she woke up on that metal table in the bunker, for a minute, she thought she was “back in Iceland”… Remember how when the show started she was just moving back from there?! (This random mention makes me wonder if those theories about her never having been in Iceland, but really having been in a mental institution, are on the right path. It seems really out of nowhere to mention that. DOES ‘A’ STAND FOR ARIA?!)

Back to Ezra & his dumb shirt: Aria tells him she’s “still cold” like she was back on the morgue table and back in Iceland. Brrrrrrr. (Related: I’m not a fan of people describing their emotional trauma as feeling ‘cold’ or some other pointless descriptor… like, no you’re not. You’re sitting outside wearing a short skirt and I don’t see any shivering. Improve your vocab, please.)

Post-art show: Aria’s mom goes to see Hanna’s mom. She’s pissed! I bet it wasn’t cool seeing her daughter looking dead on that metal table. “WE HAVE TO PROTECT THEM!” she says. Meanwhile, Red Coat is spying on them from right outside of the window. RED! COAT! (Remember her? Where has she beeeeeen and who is sheeeeeeee?)

Spencer, Hanna, and Emily head to Aria’s house to tell them they spotted photo-pal Clark looking shady and going into the abandoned doll factory right after they spotted faux-Jason/Charles/”Rys” went in there. Something’s fishy!

The final cheeseball ‘A’ scene didn’t have a tennis ball wearing a wig (ahem: tennisballwearingawig.com), but it did have: rope, duct tape, syringes full of a mystery liquid, and a tux waiting for prom. DUN DUN DUNNNNN.

Two more eps until the mid-season break & the time jump!

See this Pretty Little Liars page for links to each recap for season six.

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Pretty Little Liars & the Microchip Removal [S06E07]

The last episode of Pretty Little Liars (“O Brother, Where Art Thou,” S06E07) once again totally failed at solving the ‘A’ problem, however I think we’re getting close! Maybe! (Unless they very rudely take the mystery into the time jump & the girls are still dealing with it in the twenties.)

We open with Spencer watching an online video showing someone removing their dog’s microchip to figure out how to DIY their chip removal to stop ‘A’ from tracking their moves. She seriously wants to remove them AT HOME SURGERY STYLE! (Ow.)

pll-charles-bdaycardAlison’s dad throws luggage in the trunk & takes her away from home. She looks confused & scared but she still goes willingly. He’s covered in dirt from digging up the grave he thought Charles was in and seems crazy-ish. Alison spots the threatening birthday card he found in the emptry grave, and: “He’s alive & he’s coming for us, isn’t he?” (Oh, you’re finally catching up! Yes, Charles is your brother, he’s alive, and apparently he’s not a very chill dude.)

Hanna’s mom tells her she applied for scholarships while Hanna was trapped in the bunker & hands her a letter with a check for a $30k scholarship. (Should scholarships really be in check form, made directly to a teenager? Seems like they should’ve sent it to her school directly.) Mom says Jason recommended the place, and the name sounds familiar to Hanna, but whyyyyy…?

When Emily’s at the coffee shop, she runs into Claire, a friend of Bunker-Sara’s (pre-bunker) who was there waiting for her. Claire wants to see B-S, but she’s not available, according to Emily. Then Toby’s back from his “police seminar” (still having a hard time figuring out how he went from Spencer’s high school boyfriend to Spencer’s police officer boyfriend so quickly) & Spencer is happy, but she ditches him quickly to go “do something”

Aria & Spencer question Mona, wondering if she’s seen ‘A’ before while she was locked in Radley, but she says she was on so many drugs she “thought she was being haunted by Ali” and “auditioning for American Idol”… so she’s no help. (Also, American Idol? Seems like a pretty dated reference, PLL, and not very Mona-y.) Meanwhile, Emily’s in her bedroom with Bunker-Sara, who is her new live-in girlfriend, I guess? (DOES HER MOM HAVE RULES OR BOUNDARIES? WTF.) She offers to go with B-S to see her old friend, Claire.

Cut to: Jason sees a red balloon on the porch and finds a birthday invitation! Ahh, Charles strikes again! It says: “Come alone or not at all” & directs him to an arcade they went to as kids. DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.

pll-6x7-ariascaredcryingAria spends some time in her room (which still looks identical to her bunker prison, and that just seems wrong) sorting all of her super creepy dolls and being sad. She admits the dolls are spooky & decides to get rid of them. Although, they DID help her become a finalist for that art show she applied for, so I guess they weren’t all bad. Her brother tries to be sensitive for like 3 seconds, but is really more like: okay whatever, but DID YOU TELL MONA NOT TO TALK TO ME! (She didn’t.)

Hanna & Spencer, one of my absolute favorite pairings for scenes, figure out Hanna’s “scholarship” is coming from a company connected to Radley and/or Charles somehow. Probably not a good idea to keep the money! But oops, too late, her mom cashed the check, so… whatevs. She’ll go to college and spend it and I’m sure everything will be perfectly fine. 😉

Three things that seem kind of pointless (but like they could possibly have a point later) happen:

– The coffee shop employee who Spencer previously asked for weed (or pot brownies) drops some gummy bears wrapped in homemade packaging in her purse when she’s not looking,

– Bunker-Sara leaves Emily’s house to go stay with her pre-bunker friend, Claire, and says it’s so she can officially date Emily. (I’m still confused by her & this & what goes on at Emily’s house.)

– Mike brings Aria’s laundry basket full of dolls to Mona’s house, as a weird/creepy gift, I guess. (Is Mona really into dolls?)

And then it’s DIY Chip Removal Time! Toby swings by and while Spencer’s filling him in on who Charles is, we hear Hanna’s “ow!” from upstairs. 😂

Aria: “Hanna, you’re bleeding.”

Hanna: “What?! Where?”

Emily: “What do you mean ‘where?’ Where Dr. Amateur Hour cut your neck open.”

Toby: [has no idea what medical procedure they’ve performed on each other, makes hilarious confused face] 

Of course, Jason goes to the creepy arcade alone to meet Charles. Toby insists on grabbing his police partner and checking out the arcade, instead of letting the girls do it, while Alison calls 911 to tell them Charles, her mystery-bro, is ‘A’ & they end up at the arcade too. Things get wild, Charles uses arcade games to pelt the police with some skee balls or something, and Toby falls over all blinky-eyed and confused. He stole the gummy bears out of Spencer’s purse and ate them all & now he’s totally high while on the job. (Ahem. It’s pretty rude to take candy that was clearly made specially for someone out of their purse without asking, Toby.)

After his failed meetup with little bro, Charles, Jason heads home and pours himself a Scotch. Alison tells him not to do it. (Is he an alcoholic? I guess I forgot.) While he’s pity partying, they hear a kid say “Jason come play with me!” from upstairs. They run up to find an old home movie playing and are not nearly freaked out enough. Like, why aren’t they wondering if he’s crouched in the shadows waiting to murder them?!

PLL-6x7-mysteryvideo

Only three more episodes until we hit the mid-season break before starting back up in January… maybe with the time jump!

See this Pretty Little Liars page for links to each recap for season six.

pop culture

Pretty Little Liars & “Bitch chipped us!” [S06E06]

After the last episode, which featured a tennis ball wearing a wig, I was really looking forward to seeing where it went this week. Like, what creepy stuff will they think up next? And will photographer-dude turn out to be an actual nice guy or a creeper working a scheme? Also, I made this: tennisballwearingawig.com. 😎

Buffy beeperTonight’s episode (“No Stone Unturned” S6E6) failed in the WHO IS ‘A’ OHMYGOD JUST TELL USSSSSSS department, but won me over anyway with it’s ridiculous comedy. I’ve loved Hanna from the start and her character this season has only improved. Either the actor gained some comedic timing skills and they’re putting them to use or she’s been great the whole time and they just figured out that a show THIS campy and ridiculous could use some jokes. (See: Buffy. 😍)

Hanna: (Trying to see Mona, who’s stuck in her bedroom.) “Now you tell me? After I tried to shimmy up her drain pipe?!”

Spencer says she was “asked to be valedictorian” and doesn’t know why, since she has incompletes in everything. I also don’t know why because, um, that’s not how that works. Maybe she DID have the highest GPA (although, HOW?! — her life has been ridiculous for years), but she doesn’t now, so quit playing, principal.

Hanna spends some time being mad at Caleb, who continues to be the sweetest, smartest, most devoted boyfriend to ever come to town. She gets over it eventually… when he stops post-bunker babying her & starts up a makeout session instead. He also spends some time teaching Bunker-Sarah about “responsive design” since she’s actually working for him, and not just pretending like I thought she was going to. Although, if he’s expecting a web designer and has to explain optimal viewing of websites on a mobile browser to her, I’m not sure she’s up to the job.

Bunker Sarah: “What should I wear to Caleb’s office?”

Emily: “Your office is where Caleb plays Grand Theft Auto in his boxers.”

Speaking of Emily, she goes with Aria back to the rest-stop/junk-yard-with-cool-stuff-not-garbage. (I don’t remember what they called it but it’s super random and makes no sense.) I guess they’re looking for ‘A’ clues since photographer-dude caught him/her/it in a photo and SURPRISE! He’s there too! (Listen: Is he a creeper? Or as nice & cute as I want him to be? Seems impossible, so I bet he’s scheming something horrific.)

Anyway, they’re there looking for clues & Emily’s on her phone constantly. It bugs Aria: “Em, it’s kind of hard to hunt for clues & pick emojis at the same time.” For a show with a text messaging foe, they’re calling out excessive phone use fairly frequently.

Of course, Emily is a stage 5 clinger, so she soon ditches Aria at the rest stop/junk place. (She basically dates every girl she spends any time with that isn’t one of her best friends. Also, I think some of them are straight, until Emily, so HUH.) As Emily decides to head out, photographer-dude offers to give Aria a ride home later so she can stay and “look” for her “tripod” (cool excuse). She says, “How could I say no?” when he asks and, to my television, I say: “Like this: ‘no'” because, seriously, actual girls (not just characters named Aria): Get good at saying no. And get good at saying no without apologizing or giving a reason. NO IS ENOUGH.

Pretty Little Liars, Tennis Ball Wig Never ForgetWhile Aria’s there, we get a TINY WIG SIGHTING! The wig has ditched the tennis ball and now it’s on a doll Aria previously moodily photographed. And that doll is stabbed through the eye. Subtle message much, ‘A’?

While Emily is off trying to hook up with Bunker-Sarah, the other three girls go to a lab to ~investigate things~ and Spencer ends up feeding an irritated lab raccoon Hanna’s dinner-Cheetos. Also, they figure out ‘A’ microchipped them while they were unconscious in the bunker. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN.

Only three more episodes until we see ‘A’… I think!

See this Pretty Little Liars page for links to each recap for season six.

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Pretty Little Liars: No more dance interludes, please. [S06E05]

Listen, y’all, I just watched a show that concluded with a mystery person putting a tiny wig on a tennis ball and combing it for several seconds while I stared on, dumbfounded. This isn’t going to be pretty.

I mean, LOOK:
Tennis ball wearing a wig, Pretty Little Liars

Is this real life gif

We’re five episodes into season six on Pretty Little Liars now and… #&%*?!!! Sadly, they didn’t heed my request from last week and drop Charlie D. into the episode to clear some stuff up. (Where is he? Does he still exist? WHO KNOWS. And WHO CARES, I guess.) Also, three out of four Liars are still sleeping in their bedrooms like they weren’t locked in duplicates of them in an underground bunker for weeks, like, five seconds ago. I DON’T UNDERSTAND. Burn everything, girls! START FRESH. FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH.

Bewigged tennis ball aside, the episode moved the show forward… a tiny bit. But: WTF was that opening?! It was pretty much The Ring starring a ballerina and with a bathtub, instead of a television. NOT OKAY.

Hanna & Spencer had my two favorite exchanges of the episode. First, Hanna called out Spencer for texting while she was trying to talk to her:

“Unless you’re texting me the answer, you’re rude!”

TRUTH. (Put your phones away during your convos, kids.)

Then they went exploring in some creepy, abandoned place, where they saw something in a gross bathtub, and:

Hanna: “OH MY GOD. Is that a kneecap?”
Spencer: “Don’t touch it.”
Hanna: “Why would I touch it?!”

Honestly, Spencer, that was the most pointless thing to say ever. SHE’S NOT GOING TO TOU–… Oh wait, Spencer touched it with a stick. No wonder she thought that was a thing that someone would do. (BRB, barfing forever.)

Also, this stuff happened:

  • Mona came back to town and wore sunglasses indoors… as a disguise? Or did she have underground bunker-eyes? (Probably not, since that other girl was down there for much longer & she got a haircut & is just living life now, man.)
  • Other bunker girl has mom probs, so Emily suggested she get emancipated, like that’s super simple. They asked Caleb and he rained on their parade a bit when he pointed out she has no job to support herself. Emily’s like, “No one expects her to have a hedge fund!” (I don’t think that’s what he said, but OKAY EMILY. YOU DO YOU.)
  • Aria’s new photographer dude friend invited her to drive out to some random highway spot and take photos. Of course, I wondered if he was luring her to be murdered or something, but apparently he just wanted to hang out. And he unknowingly got a shot of ‘A’ sneaking around in the background!
  • Aria snagged the photo of ‘A’ and IT WAS A GIRRRRRRRRRL! (Gasp!)
  • Alison kissed that new cop and, um, isn’t she still a teen girl? And isn’t he a bit old? And why does this show forget about that constantly?!!
  • MONA! ON THE PHONE! AT THE END! WHAT WAS THAT?!
  • Also: TENNIS BALL WEARING A WIG.

Pretty Little Liars, Tennis Ball Wig Never Forget

Honestly, this episode didn’t do much for me except make me wish the time jump would get here already. Also, WHO THE HELL IS ‘A’ JUST TELL ME!

See this Pretty Little Liars page for links to each recap for season six.

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Pretty Little Liars loves to make us wait [S06E04]

Last week’s Pretty Little Liars left me wondering (1) why Alison’s dad was lying about mystery-Charles, (2) where Caleb was, and (3) why Aria was being Miss Moody Photos in her bedroom, and tonight’s episode (“Don’t Look Now”) addressed all three, if not much else.

So, here’s where we’re at:

Alison’s dad admitted that Charlie existed! He was her brother! And he tried to burn/drown baby-Alison in the bathtub so they locked him away. He’s thought to have died, but… that’s probably not the case, right? I mean, I don’t understand why they stopped Hanna from digging up that backyard grave to check. PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN, GIRLS.

Caleb returned! But oops! He put a tracker on Hanna’s car without her knowledge and she said she “needs space” so… bye again? The tracker was a bit of an Edward Cullen move, I admit, but she has been kidnapped and almost killed multiple times without anyone being caught for the crimes and being able to find her quickly if she disappears doesn’t seem like the most terrible plan.

Aria had to DEVELOP the emo bedroom photos she snapped last week, so naturally, tonight she got locked in a darkroom and met a new dude when he heard her screaming and let or out. (But maybe he also locked her in?) Dude totally admired her off-center creepy doll face photograph because she’s ~talented~ OKAY.

Spencer started having flashbacks of her time in the bunker. There was lots of blood in them, so she basically spent the whole episode like this:

internally screaming gif

Speaking of how they’re all still freaking out a bit after their captivity, HOW IS HANNA THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS TORN APART HER BEDROOM?! They were all held in replicas of their bedrooms and basically tortured. Seems like you’d want to update the wallpaper after that.

Anyway, someone grab Charlie D. and bring him by the next episode. Looking for him is kind of a bore. Also, I just remembered that there’s a time jump coming at the middle of this season… Five years! WHAT! Is ‘A’ still an issue then?!?!?!! (And can we just jump now?)

See this Pretty Little Liars page for links to each recap for season six.

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Charlie & the Pretty Little Liars [S06E03]

After last week’s MRA Alert (because hahahaha!), this week’s episode was sort of a letdown. I mean, yes they saw the name Charles DiLaurentis down in the creepy bunker and we need to know who that is… but does it really require this much time to tell us? Sure, we wait & wait & wait for the big ‘A’ reveal (for SEASONS!) but come on.

Why is Alison’s dad so crappy that he lied about Charles existing and apparently convinced Jason that he’d imagined him as a kid? These girls are being attacked, stalked, and harrassed for YEARS and Daddy DiLaurentis is all about keeping the family secrets instead of helping them out?

COME ON.

Annoyed eyeroll gif

My favorite line of the episode:

“It’s made up of facts… that doesn’t make it true.”

Oh, Spencer, you’re always such a dramatic brain. (ILY.) Also, this reminds me of how I craftily worded a reply to my mom the other day to avoid lying to her while also avoiding selling my sister out on something. Facts and truth aren’t precisely the same thing. Good catch, Spencer.

This episode was sort of a snooze because:

  • Where was Caleb?
  • Aria stood in her room taking photos of her stuff to remind us she’s artsy.
  • Alison’s dad is a jerk/liar and he shouldn’t make us wait so long for information that’s obviously going to come out.

You better step it up next week, PLL!

See this Pretty Little Liars page for links to each recap for season six.

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Pretty Little Liars, post-Dollhouse [S06E02]

Pretty Little Liars is back and tonight’s episode was the second of the sixth season. And OHMYGOD! I don’t know if Andrew is ‘A’ or not, but he’s totally an MRA so they should run from him either way. Look:

“They found a journal about how… Alison & the rest of you represented the feminization of society. It was a regular manifesto.”

Pretty Little Liar's Aria ooookay gif

The feminization of society! He wrote about it in his hate-journal! Something tells me the PLL writers didn’t have this exact moment planned from way back when the show started, but recent “manly” circumstances made this little nugget possible and it’s perfect.

That line, delivered by Toby, was basically my favorite of the entire episode. I also really loved Hanna & Caleb & her mom. (They’re my favorite family on the show, even though technically he’s her boyfriend and so not a part of their household. Still. They’re great to each other and for each other.)

The person who decided to keep the kidnapped girls in a bunker/prison with rooms decorated to match each of their bedrooms was a genius. Even if they’re home, the rooms feel like prison still. Hanna emptying out her room to start fresh made total sense and I was surprised the other girls didn’t want to do the same right away too. (Although I suppose that would’ve turned the show into a room makeover ep, which isn’t exactly the right tone.)

But seriously, how was Spencer trying to sleep in her room all alone? Like, go into your mom’s room or have someone over! You have PTSD and the world is a scary place when ‘A’ has been stalker-texting you for years!

So, basically:

  • It was pretty strange to watch an episode of PLL with the girls at their own houses and not receveiving creepy texts around the clock.
  • Caleb is the best boyfriend on the show & most shows. (Yay, Hanna!)
  • MRA alert! 😂

Looking forward to next week & hopefully some real ‘A’ answers. IT’S TIME!

See this Pretty Little Liars page for links to each recap for season six.